What I Must Forget

“Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence.” 
Sholem Asch


It is sometimes maddening to live with someone who forgets almost everything. We can spend an entire day together out of the house, running errands, having lunch, laughing, enjoying the moments and when we pull into the driveway Donna will turn to me as she fumbles to find her house keys and say, "Where do you live?" The sting is immediate and harsh as if she'd slapped my face. I try hard not to let her see my reaction because she always looked so puzzled, as if to say, "What did I say that caused you to look so hurt?" 


I have long since learned to live with the endlessly repetitive questions such as "Where are we going?" or "What day is it?" or "Did you have a good day?" If I couldn't live with these repetitions they would slowly but surely erode away my natural optimism. I made a choice early on that I was not going to live through these years in a state of aggravation over things she cannot control. Keep in mind I am not perfect. I lose my patience. Luckily she forgets quite quickly, but it takes me longer.


Forgetting is still a skill that I must practice. I practice forgetting the days that she doesn't know who I am. I practice forgetting how annoyed I can become by her complaints that she never gets out of the house. I practice forgetting the endless list of worries that can clog my mind like a backed up sink.


Every day I work to forget the things that could rapidly overshadow the memories I want to keep.